You just might find
by UtterlyLea
Summary: Finn and Rachel have had two years of heartbreak trying to have a baby, so now they've turned to their other option...adoption. Going to find a child at an orphange wasn't at all how they imagined it. (rated M for possible future scenes)
1. I can't do this anymore

**Just a quick Idea I got, its extremely short but I'm happy to make more…ENJOY!**

She felt the room spin as she slumped down against the bathroom door, her body becoming cold against the tiles, but she didn't move, she just lay there letting her sobs lull her to sleep…

"Rach" Rachel was half asleep when she felt large arms wrap around her, picking her up off of the floor and carrying her to the bedroom. She lay down on the bed looking up to see Finn giving her that sad knowing look, she'd seen too many times before.

"I…I can't do this any-anym" Rachel tried to get her words out but she was crying to much to finish the sentence, instead Finn wrapped his arms around her and lay back on the pillows, hugging Rachel into his chest whilst his own tears fell down his face.

"I know Rach…I know"

Rachel looked down at the cereal in her bowl whilst Finn talked to her. It took a while for her to notice that Finn was saying her name trying to get her attention, Rachel looked up after a few moments confused

"Um sorry what?" Finn reached his hand across the table stroking Rachel's softly

"Rach we don't have to do this today, you know there are other options…we could try-" Rachel lifted her hand up to Finn signaling for him to stop.

"No Finn we're not having this conversation again, I don't want to waist our money on something that we know won't work"

"We don't know that Rach"

"Yes we do… the Dr. said so himself, my body finds it difficult to see it through to the end or even for me to get…to get" Finn could see it was hard for Rachel to talk about. It had been 6 and half months since the last time it has happened and Finn knew it was going to be the last, each time before he had seen it break another piece of his wife's heart. Finn and Rachel had been married for 4 years, after 2 years Rachel had achieved just about everything she wanted too on Broadway she was more than ready to start a family with Finn. They were lucky to get pregnant after only one month of trying but soon found out that Rachel lost the baby early on. A couple months later they tried again only to find Rachel lost that baby as well. It felt like this had been the cycle of their lives day in and out…trying for a baby and loosing it before they even had it. Over the past 2 years Rachel had, had countless negative pregnancy tests and 4 miscarriages, but the last time it happened truly was too much for her to take. Finn had kind of taken the reins and had suggested IVF which Rachel said no too because she had heard stories about how physically sickening it was and she didn't want to put her self through that just to loose another baby. After kind of ruling IVF out Rachel suggested surrogacy, which Finn was not happy with, he said if Rachel couldn't carry his baby then nobody could. Which is what brought them to this...adoption, they were both skeptical about the whole thing but Rachel knew from experience that an adopted child could be as much yours as your own biological child and all she wanted to do was give Finn a baby, and this was her best bet right? Finn was pretty much up for it so that's what got them here. Today was the first time they were going to look at children at the St Andrews orphanage about 30 minutes out of the city. Rachel got up from her chair and came to sit on Finns lap. "I don't want to try anything else, this is what I want- I want to take the love that we have for a baby and give it to one who really needs it" Finn smiled leaving up to Rachel to kiss her on the lips

"You're going to make an amazing mother"

"And you're going to be the best daddy".

**Let me know what you guys think? Should I write more? Multi chapters?**


	2. Gold Stars

**Hey guy's here's the second chapter to this new story. I promise the chapters will only get longer. I got such great feedback from the first chapter and I want you all to know it really means the world to me. So with that please ENJOY… **

Rachel looked down at hers and Finns hands together as they walked across the long stretch of lawn to the front door. It looked quiet from the front, they weren't able to come when it was an open day so they'd arranged to come today since it was a Saturday and the kids would be playing all day anyway. It felt better this way, she didn't want pressure with lots of other couples being there, it was nice to think it would be just her and Finn. As they reached the front door Finn could feel Rachel's hand trembling in his.

"Rach are you sure your ok?"

"Yeh I'm fine"Rachel gave Finn a small smile "it's just a lot to take in, we could find our child today" Finn turned to face Rachel, taking both of her hands in his

"I know it's scary but it's also exiting, on the other side of this door could be a little girl or boy who's ours"

"I know, and remember if we both agree on child but can't really say it in front of them then we just say 'gold stars' ok?" Rachel kissed Finns lips before she rang the doorbell. They stood there in anticipation until a tall middle aged woman opened the door

"Hi" Rachel smiled brightly at her whilst Finn gripped onto her hand tighter. The woman stared at them for a moment probably trying to figure out who they were until it clearly hit her.

"Oh yes hello! You must be Mr and Mrs Hudson"

"Yep that's us"

"Please come in" the lady stepped aside, welcoming Finn and Rachel into the hallway. Children could be heard laughing and playing through the entire house, and it brought a smile to Rachel's face. Once the lady had closed the front door she began to walk forward down the hallway, gesturing for them to follow. "Now we have all different Races of children here, ageing from 1-9, do you know what age your looking for?" Finn looked at Rachel who just shook her head

"Um no we haven't really given it much thought"

"Well no worries" they came to a room which was obviously the main playroom, children were doing all different kinds of things, playing with dolls, colouring, painting, playing dress up and many other activities. "The children are just playing, so please walk around, play with them and see if you connect with anyone"

"Ok, Thankyou" the woman smiled at Rachel

"My pleasure, one second" she walk over to the colouring table a few feet in front of them where 5 young girls were colouring "my friend Rachel" the lady pointed to her "she doesn't have anyone to colour with, do you mind if she sits with you guys?" All 5 girls smiled at Rachel before one waved her over, she looked to be the age of 6 maybe?

"Come colour with us!" Rachel smiled letting go of Finns hand to go and join them. Finn could see she was feeling more relaxed already. He decided to wonder around himself until he noticed the doors at the side of the room leading outside wide open. He walked through them to see lots of boys throwing a basket ball around, he took a seat on the bench at the side watching them until he realised he wasn't alone. Too the side of him was a little boy with brown scruffy hair and brown eyes just staring at him. Finn smiled waving at him.

"Hey" the boy just sat there stunned looking at Finn "are you ok?" Finn began to worry, he couldn't tell if the boy was scarred

"Your reeeaaaalllyy tawl" Finn laughed a little smiling at the boy

"Yeah I know, am I the tallest person here?" the little boy nodded his head up and down quickly

"Yep! Maybe you shouwd pway with them" he pointed to the boys playing basketball

"Nah I'm fine sitting here with you, why aren't you playing with them?"

"They won't let me, they say I'm too smawl" he jumped off of the bench showing Finn his height.

"Your not too small, how old are you?" The little boy held up the number of fingers to Finn

"I just turwned four" Finn smiled at him as he sat back down, this time closer to Finn

"I used to be smaller than you when I was your age"

"Really?"

"Yep!" Finn smiled as the little boy did a happy fist bum to himself at this information "so you've told me your four but you haven't told me your name"

"You haven't told me youwr name" he grinned at Finn. Finn laughed a little at him

"Ok then, my name is Finn"

"Coowl name! You could be a water super hero!"

"Yeah but I don't really like swimming"

"Oh...my names Zach!" He moved so he was now sat on his knees facing Finn on the bench.

"Nice to meet you Zach" Finn held up his hand for a high five which Zach hit with his little hand.

"Will you pway with me?"

"Sure thing buddy, what do you want to play?" Zach placed his finger on his chin tapping it whilst he thought.

"We could pway foowtball! That's my best spowrt" he jumped off the bench and ran to the big tub of balls on the floor routing, until he found a football handing it to Finn "I'll run over thewr and you throw to me"

"Ok" they threw the ball back and fourth and Finn couldn't deny the kid was good for his age, he only dropped the ball a couple of times. It had been around 20 minutes when Finn gestured for Zach to run back to him. He was so cute with the way he high fived Finn when he reached him. "That was really good Zach, I was wondering if you want to stop playing for a minute and come meet my friend inside" Zach smiled, he ran to put the ball back in the tub before he went back to Finn following him inside. Finns eyes scanned for Rachel, she wasn't at the colouring table anymore and it looked as if the girls she was with had moved onto playing dress up. It took him a moment but he finally saw her sat watching some children play with a dolls house. He walked across the room with Zach following him, when he reached Rachel she looked up smiling.

"Hey, the girls went on to play dress up b-"

"Rach I've got someone I'd like you too meet" Finn stepped aside, now putting Zach in front of Rachel. She smiled up at Finn before she looked at Zach

"Hi I'm Rachel, what's your name?" The little boy smiled at Rachel walking closer to her

"I'm Zach"

"Hi Zach" Finn sat down on his knees next to Rachel's chair

"this is my frwiend Finn" Rachel looked at Finn then back to Zach

"Well Finns my friend too so why don't us three play together?"

"Yeah! Can you throw a bawl"

"I have to admit I'm not that good with sports, how old are you Zach?"

"I'm four! It was my birthday wast month and we had cake and umm...bwoons aannndddd I got a new toy"

"Wow that's so cool" Zach beamed at Rachel moving closer to her

"I like you!" He turned to Finn smiling "I like your frwiend Finn" Finn laughed looking at Rachel who looked like she wanted to squeeze Zach

"Well thanks Zach but I'll let you in on a secret, she's actually my wife, but we are friends too"

"Oh so youwr a mummy and daddy?"

"Well no, not really, that's why we are here today" Zach just nodded, he must of seen couples coming in and out before. Finn got up to go too the toilet leaving Rachel and Zach to chat and play with eachother. On his way out of the bathroom he ran into the lady that shown them in

"Oh hi, how are you finding the kids"

"They're all lovely, but I think we've met someone who's caught our eye"

"Oh yes who?"

"Um his name is Zach?"

"I'm sorry we have 3 Zach's here so I don't know who you mean" Finn smiled walking through the doors and pointing to Zach who was now sat on Rachel's lap reading a story with her. The lady smiled nodding her head "ah yes Zach Walsh, yes he's lovely, shy with other children but lovely to everyone"

"I know this is personal question but do you mind me asking what such a great kid like him is still doing here?" The woman's happy smile turned to one of sadness.

"Well all the kids we have here are great, Zach's been here for about 9 months now but it's hard because almost everyone who comes here is only looking for one child and we won't split them up" Finn looked confused

"I'm sorry you lost me"

"Has Zach not mentioned his sister?" Finns eyes widened.

"What? No he hasn't" the woman smiled

"Come with me" she gestured for Finn to follow her down the hallway to a room upstairs. When they walked in Finn could see 5 cribs in different parts of the room, the lady walked over to one and smiled picking up the small baby who was currently chewing on their foot. "This is Zach's little sister, it's a shame, people who come to an orphanage aren't really looking for a baby or two children, I think that's why Zach's still here" Finn smiled down at the baby who stretched out her arms gurgling.

"Hey cutie" he touched the tip of her nose "Am I ok to go and get Rachel to bring her up here"

"Of course" Finn went quickly down the stairs to Rachel in the playroom

"Rach I have something to show you"

"What is it?" Rachel got up following Finn out of the room whilst Zach held her hand. She followed him up the stairs and into the nursery room, where she stopped in the doorway but Zach ran to the baby's crib when he saw her. "No Finn I can't...we came for a child, I don't think I can see a baby right now" tears started to well up in her eyes. Finn walked back to her placing a kiss on her forehead

"Come on...trust me" he placed an arm around her and walked forward until they were stood in front of the crib. Zach turned to Finn and Rachel smiling as he pointed into the crib

"That's my baby sister Lydia, but we cawl her Lydi" Rachel smiled running a hand over Zach's hair before she looked down into the crib and saw the baby girl with brown fluffy hair and brown eyes looking up at her. She got exited and began to kick her legs back and fourth as she gurgled. Rachel smiled at her

"Hi baby girl" she turned back to look at the small older looking woman in the room "can I hold her?" The woman nodded at Rachel whilst she fed another baby. Rachel turned back to the baby who now had her arms stretched out wanting Rachel to pick her up. Rachel lifted her up out of the cot holding her against her chest. Lydia looked at Rachel placing a hand on her face out of curiosity. Finn smiled at Rachel before picking up Zach so he could see his sister. He pointed to each of them explaining who they were to her

"Lydi this is Finn and that's Rachel" Lydia stared at Zach before taking hold of his finger and trying to put it in her mouth. Zach pulled it away and looked up at Rachel "she does that awl the time" Rachel giggled placing a soft kiss on Lydia's head. She turned to the lady across the room

"How old is she?"

"10 months" Finn smiled at Rachel giving her a knowing look

"Gold stars?" Rachel nodded as Lydia placed her head on Rachel's chest and yawned. Rachel leaned her head against the top of Lydia's as she spoke to her softy

"I've been waiting for you" the four of them sat in the two rocking chairs by the window, they decided to switch over so now Finn was holding a book out to Lydia on his knee and Zach what chatting Rachel's ear off on hers. It wasn't long before the lady who welcomed them came back into the room.

"How are we all doing?"

"Good"

"Did you find what you wanted?" Rachel looked at Finn smiling before turning to the lady.

"I think we did" she ran a hand through Zach's hair and tickled him slightly. "What happens now?"

"Well now we let Zach go and play downstairs and Lydia can go back in her crib whilst we sign some papers, then you can come back and talk to him"

"Ok" Rachel watched Finn place Lydia back in her crib before they all walked back downstairs, they managed to get Zach to stay in the playroom whilst they went into the office taking a seat in front of the huge brown desk

"Now before we get started I forgot to even mention my name is Judith" she pulled a file out of the cupboard and took the pack that was already on the desk before sitting down and opening both "now Zach and Lydia have been with us for around 9 months. Their parents died in a car crash on the way home from the hospital with Lydia" Rachel let out a small gasp taking hold of Finns hand. Judith continued to speak whilst she read the papers "they both remained in child protective services for a month whilst they tried to find if they had any family but sadly they found nothing so they both came here, Lydia is the youngest baby we've ever had" she quickly read a few pages before speaking again "they have no health issues or medical problems and their parents didn't seem to have any religion" she closed that file and opened up the pouch labeled 'Mr and Mrs Hudson' "now you guys seem to have all your papers from the child protective services end, you had your house done for child check and it passed" Rachel nodded brightly

"Yep, the woman said it was extremely child friendly and she saw no problems"

"Yep that's what I have here" she looked up smiling at them "I see no problems here, you both interacted great with them and to be honest I've never seen Zach talk so much, he must really feel comfortable with you" Finn squeezed Rachel's hand excitedly

"So that's it? We can adopt them both"

"Yes, I don't think we could find better parents for them" Rachel sat up kissing Finn on the cheek

"So what now?"

"Well all we need is for you too fill out this paper work and you can come back to get them in two weeks once the paper works gone through. In the mean time though your welcome to stop by and see them"

"Where's a pen?" Rachel picked up the paper work ...

"So we will see you both on Tuesday" Finn spoke to Zach on his lap whilst Rachel sat next to him holding a sleeping Lydia but looking at Zach as well.

"And then in 2 weeks I live with you?"

"Yep that's right, and Lydia" Zach looked at his little sister sleeping in Rachel's arms.

"She likes you"

"Well I like her"

"And me?"

"And you" Rachel turned kissing Finn on her cheek, she'd never felt so whole before until that moment. "So what's your favourite colour Zach?"

"Um...green! Like the jungle!" Finn nodded smiling at him

"Wow that's super cool bud" Zach smiled at Finn before looking back at Rachel

"Why?"

"Well how else are me and Finn going to decorate your new room if we don't know your favourite colour?" Zach climbed of of Finns lap jumping on the spot

"I get my own room?" Finn placed a finger on his lips signalling for him not to wake Lydia

"Of course you get your own room!"

"YEY, YEY, YEY!" He did a little happy dance on the spot before jumping back on Finns lap. "Lydi's favorite colour is pink...because she has a pink blankie" Zach pointed to the pick blanket that was currently being held next to her face as she slept.

"Well then we'll make sure that we do hers pink then" Zach stared at them both before he leant up wrapping his arms around Finns neck and hugging him

"Youwr the bestest!" Finn gave a side-glance at Rachel with that adorable half smile. Although a baby was something they'd always wanted, this felt right, sat here with these 2 children knowing they were giving them all the love they had...it felt like the best feeling in the world.

**Thanks for reading guys; this is a story that is close to my heart so it means a lot that you guys enjoy reading it **


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